Washington D.C. — Prankster Robert Erickson incites tea baggers to shout: “COLUMBUS GO HOME!”, debates anti-immigrant zealot Roy Beck of Numbers USA and discovers undercover federal agents in a hilarious new video, which unveils his plan for Comprehensive European Reform.
“Hi I’m Robert Erickson, you may remember me from my speech at last November’s Tea Party Against Amnesty. I strongly believe illegal immigrants are responsible for some of the worst crimes in history and because of that we need to remove them from the country by any means necessary.
If you study your past, you’ll know that European Immigrants are responsible for worst crimes in human history – we’re talking about genocide, slavery and bringing diseases like small pox which was responsible for the death of millions of Americans.”
Apparently, many of the tea baggers, as well as Roy Beck, President of anti-immigration hate group Numbers USA, are in agreement with Robert’s anti-colonial sentiments.
Robert tells the story of an illegal immigrant responsible for killing a number of Americans, and trying to claim sanctuary here. He asks tea baggers to look into the camera and tell this criminal what they think of him… once they begin Robert slips in a small detail: “his name is Columbus”
Many protesters actually join Robert in shaming Columbus for the “murders and the land theft” and demand that he be “brought to justice, and sent home”. One by one they look into the camera and yell: “Columbus Go Home!”
Robert vs Roy – A clash of extremes
Robert even manages to score an exclusive interview with Roy Beck at the rally for immigration reform on Sunday, after one of his bodyguards was arrested for assaulting a mime that was part of a group following him around to prevent him from picking any fights with the protesters.
“Illegal European immigration is one of the worst things we have going in this country, ” Erickson tells Beck as the cameras roll. “It’s not a new problem. It’s been going on for hundreds of years.”
Indeed, Beck agrees, apparently without realizing the he’s the butt of the joke, “It helped finish off the Indians.”
When asked what we should do with illegal Europeans Beck states: “We think that E-Verify ought to be used at every workplace…” “European verify?” asks a straight faced Erickson.
Several minutes into the interview, once Beck realizes that Erickson is sarcastically advocating the deportation of all white Europeans, Beck brings the conversation to an embarrassing halt.
Comprehensive European Reform -Towards a just America
Touched by the deep conversations he has had with his fellow patriots throughout the week, Robert undergoes a profound change of heart, and makes a major announcement-a play on CIR:
“I have to admit, there’s no way we are going to deport them all, so its time we came up with a sensible, humane solution to this problem facing more than 200 Million illegal Europeans who are hiding out in the shadows of this great nation. I propose a path to citizenship, a plan that will be known as Comprehensive European Reform.
First, they will have to come out of the shadows and admit that the U.S. was founded upon genocide and slave labor, justified by creating a system of white supremacy which is perpetuated today through institutionalized and systemic racism
Second, they must work to dismantle these systems of oppression within themselves, and within the structures of power that perpetuate them.
Third, they must pay a $500 fee as reparations to Native and Black communities, then they can get in line with the tribal counsel like everyone else to apply for their citizenship, pending the consent of the original peoples whose land they are occupying.”